catching up

site was hacked, my wonderful admin moved some things around, and something is working. I’m going to poke around over the next few weeks to try to return it to some semblance of its old self.

random updates

a few milestones and observations:

  • ripley laughed today, on the four-week anniversary of her transition to being an outside baby. as of yesterday, she still isn’t a huge fan of babywearing, but remains all about the babycarrying.
  • she’s gaining weight like a champ. she’s a third heavier than she was when we brought her home. i, on the other hand, am twenty pounds lighter. booyah.
  • her dad and her grandmother gave her her first bath on friday, as i was catching up on some much-needed sleep. her highness was not amused. in the slightest. she did smell much better afterwards, though, which suggests to me that there is more to baby-wrangling than just feeding, changing, and burping. i may need to look into that.
  • snuffy remains mostly disinterested, unless ripley starts squalling. then he tries to comfort her the best way he knows how: licking her face, bringing her his toys, and as a last resort, bopping her on the head with his tennis ball. we’re trying to discourage the last one, at least until her skull hardens up.
  • it is very difficult to knit when caring for a newborn. it is also very difficult to shower, eat, sleep, or have adult conversations that don’t revolve around the intricacies of caring for a newborn, or even just comments like, “we went through three diapers in two minutes – the one she was wearing, the one i tried to put on her when she decided to take another massive shit, and the one she’s wearing now. what’s that? she just took another dump? that’s. just. great.”
  • grandmothers are awesome. all newborns should come with a set.
  • other things that newborns should come with, but don’t:
    • a milk gauge
    • an air gauge
    • a temperature readout
    • a self-cleaning option
    • a user manual (yes, i would read it. maybe.)
    • a usb 2.0 port (got to download the hundreds of iphone photos of her somewhere.)
  • oxytocin: the love and xenophobia chemical. i am totally googly over my daughter. she is amazing. she is awesome. she can do no wrong. (this all may be linked to the fact that she is pre-verbal, non-ambulatory, and so far can only communicate through coos, sighs, grunts, and screams. oh – and a giggle!) i am also filled with rage at the carelessness of other drivers. the shortest drive anywhere has become a test of my willpower to not jump out at every stop sign and traffic light and haul an offending driver out of his or her vehicle, screaming “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? MY OFFSPRING IS IN MY CAR AND YOU’RE DRIVING LIKE A TOTAL MORON, ENDANGERING MY PROGENY! DIE! DIE! DIE!” while strangling them with a spit-up soaked tshirt.
  • spitup. oh, wow. that stuff is gross. and i think it multiplies on its own.

most important observation so far, though? sticking it out through the IUIs, the IVF cycles, the years of trying – best decision i ever made. Ripley is, hands down, the coolest thing i’ve ever done. and that realization surprises the fuck out of me.

more later. she just let rip with two huge, wet farts. i should probably see if she needs to be changed.

i’m still standing

third scheduled induction date has been rescheduled.

why? well, I’m not 42w yet; sprog looked fine, and while I seem to still have the recalcitrant cervix from hell, there does seem to be a bit of forward momentum. still closed, but 50% effaced. so that’s good. I could have gone with cytotec & a foley catheter to try to open things up, but I don’t think it’s necessary yet.

tuesday morning will be 42 weeks on the nose, and I’ve decided that’s the point where my desire for this to happen totally naturally will fall to my concerns about the rising risk of stillbirth. so if she doesn’t get moving by Monday night, we know what we’re doing the next morning.

I’ve made a small bracelet with her name in letter beads. G asked, “you’ve resorted to bribery?”

oh, you know it. at least I haven’t resorted to drinking hot sauce or castor oil.

holy shit what have i done?

if all goes well, this will be our last night in this house without a child for a very long time. holy shit. have i ruined our lives? were we crazy to embark on this sprogging thing, so late?

i won’t even get into how the thought of inducing is scaring the living shit out of me, because it is what it is, and there you go. childbirth. yikes. what the everloving fuck.

so, yeah. that’s what i’m up to right now. one last night of really bad sleep at home, one night of medicated sleep expected in the hospital tomorrow night… and then go time.

no turning back now, i guess.

small batch balsamic fig jam

1.5 lb figs
400 gr sugar
3 tbsp citric acid solution (100 ml water and 4 gr citric acid)
balsamic vinegar to taste

peel & chop figs, mix with sugar, cook at simmer over medium heat until spoon dragged across bottom of pan leaves a good track (about 30 minutes). add citric acid and balsamic vinegar.

ladle into prepared jars with 1/4″ headspace; boil in canner for 10 minutes.